ltinyfkr's Xanga

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Wed, 07 Apr 2004 18:56:41 GMT

life sucks...

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 05:47:19 GMT

Mood: scared and tired...

Hello, world. In light of it being Friday the 13th, I thought I'd follow along in an old tradition. So, Nikki, this little post is for you!! *wink wink* It is an old tradition of mine, and some close friends, to tell ghost/scary stories on the 13th. Yes yes... corny, I know, but fun nonetheless. So, since the lack of opportunity to tell these stories in person, I have managed to find three acceptable stories that I wished to share with the world as well as my friends. So, here you are!

Note: Some of these stories may scare you shitless... Or, they may just be super lame... Take your pick...
Second Note: Click on the title to read the rest of the story...

The Locket
It was pure chance that he found it. Clive Franson would not have gone out on such a filthy wet night if not for Roger, his old spaniel, being so insistent on taking his evening walk. If he had not paused to let a car pass before he crossed Samson Street just where he had, he certainly would not have spotted it.

It was as he glanced down to ensure Roger was safely at heel, that he caught the glint of something reflected in the car's headlights. The occupant of the car, old Mrs Charlesworth from Hill Crescent, gave him a cheery wave as she drove carefully by. He returned the wave with his usual sheepish grin before bending to investigate. What made him do so puzzled him later; he was not normally inquisitive. Somehow though, he felt almost drawn to the gleaming object.

The rainwater was rushing along the gutter at the side of the road in a heavy stream, carrying the object along with it. Clive's gloved fingers fumbled clumsily, his first attempt to get a grip of it failed and it was swept on, twisting and turning in the stream. It was fortunate that his next attempt succeeded; otherwise, he would not have had another chance to rescue the object. The water was flowing rapidly along the gutter and down a gurgling drain, the object with it. His clutching fingers grasped it just as it reached the metal grid of the drain cover, a moment later and it would have been lost forever...

Enjoy Your Meal
Carver was watching her again. She could feel his eyes boring into the back of her neck. He gave her the creeps when he stared at her like that. Why couldn't he go and pester somebody else?

Sandra crammed the Styrofoam box into the bag, almost spilling its contents as her fingers, made nervous by Carver's penetrating gaze, played tricks on her.

"There you go, sir. One Special, fries and a strawberry shake," she said to the youth at the counter, uncomfortably aware of the dubious look he gave her spotted face and the trickle of sweat running down her cheek.

"Enjoy your meal, and please call again."

Sandra handed the bag to the youth and turned her fixed, artificial smile to the next customer, a housewife with a legion of offspring in tow.

"Yes madam, how may I help you?"

"Four Kiddymeals, a Fishyslice, one Megaburger with double cheese, a Baconburger, one Special, two big fries, three small fries, a coffee, two Chocshakes and three Orangolas," the woman reeled off at breakneck pace.

Sandra's big fingers rattled clumsily over the keypad, desperately trying to keep up with the rapid-fire order as she punched it into the till. Still feeling Carver's eyes upon her, she prayed that she'd got it right. What a disaster it would be if she got it wrong while he was watching her...

The Watcher
Atop the very highest peak, he sat on his throne of stone. He was the wisest being that had ever been. He had been seated there since the beginning of time. He had never spoken.

He simply watched.

From his lofty perch, he could survey the whole world. He had seen its birth. In the beginning, there had been darkness and nothingness. Then had come mighty explosions and searing flames and terrible storm. It was an awesome conflagration; it ripped and tore and shaped and moulded. It lasted many centuries. Throughout it all, he watched. He said nothing.

In the fullness of time came a day when the explosions quieted, the flames died and the storm subsided. Then came an aeon-long period of stillness and silence. Nothing moved; there was nothing to move. Nothing made a sound; there was nothing to make a sound.

He watched. He said nothing.

Then came rain: a great and mighty deluge. It flooded the world and made it clean and poured down for many decades. The rains ceased; the waters settled and sank into the earth. Streams were born and rivers, then seas and oceans.

He watched. He said nothing...

Friday, February 13, 2004

Fri, 13 Feb 2004 04:46:42 GMT

Mood: bored...

I thought I'd follow suit with a few people, and try out a few quizzes (plus, I'm extremely bored, so I figured - what the hell...) Anywho, here is what I came up with:

1. Personality Test... wow, I didn't know I was as aggressive as I thought... hehe...

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	61%
Type 3	Image Awareness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Type 4	Sensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	61%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	59%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	71%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	61%

Your Conscious-Surface type is 8w9
Calm, confident, and strong. 8w9s portray a robust serenity. They make protective parents and supportive friends. They are unpretentious and dry in wit. Their anger is explosive though, and they can act with callous indifference towards others.

Your Unconscious-Overall type is 7w8
You have a high libido and are more physical than emotional. You would rather be alone than settle for an ill fitting relationship. You have an inquisitive mind and don't like to conform. You prefer talking to listening. You are, at times, indecisive.

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

2. Sign of affection...

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

3. Band I'm most likely to be...

You are Taking Back Sunday. You hate suicide and
you have had a friend or two that has done it.
You might have had suicidal thoughts too.

What band are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

4. Type of kiss...

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well, for those of you who know me personally, what do you think? Do these quizzies ring true?? I guess we'll see, won't we... *wink wink* Well, goodnight world and have a geeewwwwd Aloha Friday tomorrow, ya hear?!

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Thu, 12 Feb 2004 04:40:57 GMT

Mood: shitty...

Wow... I can't believe what I did today... I broke up with my boyfriend... Yup yup... I broke up with Irwin... Wow... man... I feel really bad... I feel like a total ass hole... But, what was I supposed to do?? I mean... it just wasn't going to work. I'm sooo not ready to settle down with a serious relationship... Yes, I love him and everything, but there is still sooo much I want to do before I settle with someone and think about marriage... Yuppers, you heard me... marriage... I understand that we're still young and all, but still... Oh well.... I've gotta keep moving on, I guess... I dunno what else to say... Hopefully all of you had a better day....

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Wed, 11 Feb 2004 03:45:56 GMT

Mood: bumbed and tired...

Goshness... I can't believe today... Well, first of all, I failed my driving test... Yea... I know, well, here were the reasons why:

1. Parking on hill: didn't turn wheels towards the curb

2. Backing out of stall: didn't check over left shoulder

3. Failed to yield to approching vehicle on the right before turning left at intersection

4. Failed to yield to approaching vehicle on the left side before turning right at intersection...

Oh man... Oh well, I only have to wait about a MONTH until my next appointment... Oh, and if that isn't enough... After spending an hour at my tutoring session singing to my students, I ended up chickening out at my auditions... Instead, I just signed up as a techy. It's all good, but still... If only I had heard the other people sing before I decided to back out... I would've had a bit more confidence. But, I haven't been a real techy before, nor have I ever been stage manager before, so this would be great experience... Now... If only I can get my friends to become techies too.... *evil grin* hehehe... Anyway folks, there you go, my lousy day... Hope yours was better!!

//-charmelon-\\

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Tue, 10 Feb 2004 20:18:25 GMT

Mood: scared and excited...

Holy smokes, peoples!! I can't believe that it's already Tuesday!! Such a goddamn busy day it is too...

First: My mom leaves for the filippines...

Second: I've got a driving test (first time!! ) at 1330...

Third: tutoring sessions as 1500

and Fourth: I've got drama auditions at 1730...

Wow! I don't think I can keep up!! Man...... I'm soooooooooo scared that I'm gonna flunk my test!! And I'm also freaking out about my audition... What am I gonna do? What am I gonna sing?! Yup yup, its a musical, hence the reason why I wanna audition: I've never been in musical before... Hey, there's a first for everything, right?? Right... Goshness, I hope today goes smoothly! Well, wish me luck peoples!!

//-charmelon-\\

Monday, February 09, 2004

Mon, 09 Feb 2004 20:34:14 GMT

Mood: excited...

Okay, for those of you who don't already know, I am a BIG dot.HACK fan... Yes siree bob! I had been waiting to get Infection for like the past two years or something, and I finally got Infection and Mutation for christmas... (I know that Outbreak is already in stores, but I just didn't have the cash...) But, anyway, while talking to a friend the other night, you wouldn't believe what he told me!! I had always assumed that there were only 3 (count 'em... THREE) games. But now I found out there's a fourth!! How fucking kewl is that!!! So, I'm spreading the news and telling the world about the fourth and final installment of the dot.HACK series, entitled Quarantine:

The Last Stand...In the final episode of the .hack saga, play as the outlaw player Kite to finally unravel the mystery behind "The World." And this time it's against the clock...
As events in "The World" continue to create havoc in the real world, CC Corp. faces increasing pressure to move the game servers offline, meaning certain death for all comatose victims. It's up to you now. Can you cure this virus and restore order in "The World?" And can you do it before time runs out for your friend, Orca?

Here are some screen shots from the game (courtesy of IGN.com):

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Sat, 07 Feb 2004 07:34:25 GMT

Mood: okay???

IM'ing: Tyrone, Kyndra, and... thats bout it

Hey y'all... Like the new layout?? It was such a pain in the arse to get it to all work, but hey, at least I finally have something I like that won't be fucked up when I lose my premium subscription. I don't get whats so special about premium anyway. I think the only thing that pisses me off is that you can't use skins unless you've got it... (I needed the skins option to do other shit), but its all geewwwd I suppose.

Oh, and just a side note... aren't younger siblings the cutest little things? You never know what they're bound to show you next. Take this for example:

Sean!! i love you -->>officially_missin_yoo<<-- says:

              /´¯/)
           ,/¯ /
            /    /
   /´¯/' '/´¯¯·¸
/'/    /     /    /¨¨/¯\
('( ´    ´    ¯&;/' ')
\                  '     /
'\'  \             _.·´
    \         (
   \            \

Sean!! i love you -->>officially_missin_yoo<<-- says:

hahah

Sean!! i love you -->>officially_missin_yoo<<-- says:

wat nooow biatch

Yes... aren't little siblings precious? Haha, anyway... this is for Tyrone: I am soooo sorry!! I really really am! =( *tear* Please forgive me?

Well, anyway, I don't have much news for the world, other than I feel fucking bloated.... I've been eating non stop since lunch, because my mom's a fucking psycho... Then again, who's isn't? I know, I know... today's Aloha Friday, but and there's supposed to be a weekend wrap and all, but I honestly have nothing to tell! My life's boring... you all know that. I'll think of something tomorrow... promise... Sleep well, world, and I'll check ya later...

//-charmelon-\\

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Thu, 05 Feb 2004 19:42:41 GMT

Mood: really fucking pissed...

I hope you guys don't mind this little rant... I'm just really... well, yea... Just warning you... A lot of highly energized emotions will be tossed around...

My life sucks so much, and I don't know what to do. I need a way out, but I don't have anywhere to go. Irwin was supposed to be my ticket, but I'm not sure if I still want him. I feel so helpless and alone... I have no one to talk to... no one to turn to... My parents always ask why I never talk to them, but its not the same. They don't listen to me... they don't try to understand what goes through my head when I try to explain. And when they say they are listening... they're not. Not really... because they already have some idea in their head, and so instead of listening to me, they base what they hear on what they are already thinking. And they wonder why I can't talk to them? That's why...

Sometimes, I wish I could just go and act like a slut and a druggy so that they have validity for their accusations... for their assumptions and jugdements. I know I may have done some shit in the past, but all kids have... no child is perfect. But I also know that I've done better than most. I've never drank, never done drugs, did my homework and behaved in school. Yes, I've had sex, but not promiscuously. Just one person... one time. I may have lied and cheated, but never to a point that causes serious damage. I graduated high school with honors, was in NHS and the National Thespian Society... I go to college, go home when I'm supposed to, and rarely talk back to my parents. Yet, they seem to see me as this irresponsible and digusting delinquent that's going to fuck up her life. Scratch that... what they think is irrelevant... it's how I feel they see me.

So what am I supposed to do? Say sorry and forget that everything I did happened?? Fuck that! I'm not sorry for my decisions, for my experiences, for my life. If I didn't do any of those things, I wouldn't be who I am today, and I like who I am. I'm a much stronger person than I used to be. True, I'm also more depressed, cynical, and sarcastic, but I'm also more patient and open minded... at least I like to think so. I wish my parents can see me as more than just their daughter... I wish they can look at me and see me as a person that's just going through life. They haven't done a bad job. Things could be a lot worse than they seem to be. I don't blame them for how I turned out or for the decisions I've made. I just wish they could understand that. I wish they could look past my choices and see the person. If I hated them as much as they think, then I would've left already. Granted I don't really have anywhere to go, but I would've found a way.

My life isn't so terrible, and the things I do aren't against them. Why can't they see that?! Why can't they understand that? They're so stubborn that they refuse to see that I'm just trying to live my life while doing what I believe is the best for me. It may sound selfish and all, but it is my life. Oh, and another thing: KYNDRA AND I ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE!! They need to understand that little tid bit too. She's not going to do the same things I did. She's not going to make the same decisions, the same mistakes. We're different people who think in completely different ways. She's not like me, and I'm not like here. Just because we're sisters and we're always there for each other doesn't necessarily mean we have total control over each other's actions. I don't influence her anymore than she influences me. Please understand that, people, and leave my sister the fuck alone!

*sigh* Okay okay... I'm sooo sorry about that. I just needed to get all of that out of my system. The reason for all this you ask?? Well, I lied to my mom yesterday about something (see, I can't even remember what it was I said) and now, since yesterday, she's been bitching to me about everything... *sigh* But that's my life... Now, how to fix it...

Monday, February 02, 2004

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 06:51:45 GMT

Mood: worn out... but still wants to do a lot of shit before bed...

Okaly dokaly, folks. Welcome to another day in my world. Today, however, is special day... A day that stands out against the rest... And what day is today? A birthday?? No... An anniversary?? No... Super Bowl day?? Yea, but no... (I'm not a "true" American today, cuz I didn't watch the Super Bowl... yea yea yea...) Today, ladies and germs, is Sunday (duh...). Also known as the "Day of the Lord". Now, for those of you know already know me, I'm not a big religious person. Actually, I'm not religious at all, I just like singing along with the chorus during mass. Yep, helps to improve those vocal skills... *cough cough*... Anyway, since today is Sunday, I thought I would ask the world a spiritual question. But, since I had the question in mind at noon, and it is now 9:30... I think I'll just say "fuck it" for now and move onto the next topic...

I guess what I would like the ask the world to do now is go visit my sister's site, Officially_Missin_Yoo, cuz she needs a little cheering up. She may be young, but break-ups are always a bitch, no matter how old you are, so help keep her chin up, kay? Thanks a million...

Well, there really isn't much for today, other than I've been in my artsy mood lately, so I have a little art show to present to y'all. The following are the top ten artists (rated by me) at deviantART (DA):

note: The featured deviations were picked by the artists themselves (view their profile to see what I mean)... Click on image for a larger view.

- - - - - - - - - -

#1 pu-sama (DEITY)
DEITY

I had wanted to draw Mystic with long hair, and this is what came of it... The drawing was originally a sketch out of bordom that I had done with the intention of testing my copic markers..and I went a bit overboard on it. I had a lot of fun with it, and am satisfied despite whatever problems it may have.

an image from the past, and perhaps the future. So would he be a god or a devil, do you think?

Mystic is copyright to me, Pu-sama (Mallory Dyer)

Medium:
Pencil outline
Micron inking
Copic Marker
gouache
CG touch up

(Music for inspiration: Ghost in the Shell opening, Shaman's Fairy Tale, and Loreena McKennit's 'The Mystic's Dream'..how fitting!)

#2 SystemOverload (H20)
EDIT = reuploaded it because of Deviant Problems. Also, I will load the original render soon.

Ever wonder what molecules of Water looked like?

--------------- I didn’t want to over do this piece with useless 2d.

I am horrible at renders... I made a test render and then tried to use my " Photoshop skills" to make the piece.

99% Photoshop 1% Bryce

#3 angelcurls (exterior citizen)
there are no words that are able to describe the feeling i get while looking at this, except maybe the title...

---

done on film. medium format with 6x4,5 magazine. no toning, because this film produces blue negatives and if you scan it, the positive has this orange-sepia touch.

#4 ImJustSomeGuy (Here's JustSomeGuy)
This is JustSomeGuy Himself... yeup... thats him.... just .. some.. guy... hmm.... well..... yea.. thank him for the werk... he likes to draw

#5 avotius (- The Crowd-)
Anyone else want to join me in front of these thousands of people waiting for some kids to play some chinese music?

How could I pass up an oppertunity like this? Im sitting there inside the press area in front of the stage with my camera with lots of room to take shots and....well...there ya have it, a niiiice photo op, even if its a little intimidating to stand there with everyone looking at you and snap a few

#6 boobookittyfuck (scott.)
he did not know i was drawing him. AND THAT IS THE MORAL.

#7 suiz9mm (grand piano)
i took this one last year, and i'm still gonna work on it, mean; do another photoshoot to make it better. sorry for the stains and other stuff on the picture (had to scan from a print). but what do YOU think ?

edit: many have brought it up so:i think i used TMAX3200 film which explains the grain

#8 archipello (Her Silent Silhouette)
I havent posted anything since september...university is indeed a harsh mistress but i love it

im most happy with how the sky and water turned out, i dont use references so i just keep drawing until i fell it looks right

havent got the strength to type much more...ill let the work speek for itself.

Enjoy

Photoshop7 as usual

#9 sebychu (Breaking the coat of wings)
...Don't you hate it when you draw someone completely random...and it comes out looking like a pre-exsiting character? >__O;; I so so so did not mean for this to come out looking like that War of Genesis/Magna Carta guy. I should have went with the Black on grey theme I was thinking instead of the White on grey. Also his skin is really orangey...:/a

Well, it was another expriment anwyay, I kind of like this style of coloring...but I found alot of things that are....tricky about it. Like....it's hard to go back and erase something when all your work is on one layer. It was also reeeally hard to work on a 640x480 canvas...>_o;; Trying to work on small details was like...impossible.

This image is going to be used as the 'layout' for my final in Computer App, where we have to make this digital...portfolio...thing.

Totaly Painter 6 (sketch to finish). Effects in Photoshop. Time: 5-6 hours.

#10 ferus (dusk)
Dusk!!! A picture that is part of a set with my previous (Noon)!!!! I had fun colouring this fer some reason...hehe! The colours were difficult to choose at first but then after colouring one thing, I got an idea on which colour to use that will go with that colour ^^! Meh...and at least this isn't PINK! haha!One thing for sure is....

I Love drawing characters with Top Hats, turtle necks, and tail coats!!(ties are cool too!!) ^0^!!!

Anyways, in case you don't know why I drew this, it is because I got the insperation from the novel "Keys to the Kingdom" by Garth NiX!! (i've also read " Shade's Children" thats also written by him) and as you all have recommended, I" ll readabborhsen, and Sabrial!!

- - - - - - - - - -

Welp, folks, there you have it. These people are extremely talented, so I strongly suggest that you check out their galleries. Personally, I believe that a few of their featured deviations don't show the full scope of their talent, and they deserve all the praise and recognition they can get. Well... yea... that's my two cents for today, peeps. Y'all take care... till next time....